If we forget comparison for one minute, how would we perceive ourselves? Talking to my 8-year old daughter, I realized that most self criticism and frustration derives from a comparison. One day she cried and was sad about a girl calling her fat. I asked her: “Fat in relation to what? You are beautiful, healthy and have your unique size. And the same goes for all your friends. They are not big, small, fat or thin. They also have their unique and perfect size.” I started to understand that my own anxieties, insecurities and fears result from a comparison. I ask myself (and intimately know) where do these references come from? It is almost funny how these standards bud like weeds in us and we don’t know how they got there. They are so profound and persistent that it is hard to get rid of them. Suddenly we get caught feeling less something… Who says what is ugly and beautiful, good and bad, right and wrong, successful and failure, dull and intelligent…? On the other hand, we feel the urge to develop ourselves, to evolve and to outgrow our own challenges. I want to be a better person today than yesterday and to learn from my experiences. Having said that, is a comparison with others necessary to evolve? Is my learning process on Earth a constant competition where I need to be better than others because few arrive at the podium? I believe not. There is space for all of us because we are unique. And, most importantly, we are all walking this path together. If one stays behind, I also go back and if one moves forward, I also advance. Maybe the way is to always do our best, guided by our own internal references. Some steps may appear small to others, but it is a huge overcoming for me. And when I go to bed at night, I may sleep peacefully because I know I gave my best today. The sleep of the just.
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