It’s not a long time ago when I realized that my soul was very far away from me. A feeling of loneliness. Loneliness not because of being alone, but because of the absence of myself. After this realization, I started my internal journey to reconnect (religare = religion). I sensed it would be a journey very different from the challenges I faced before. I didn’t move an inch outside and, still, moved mountains inside. From the outside, it looks almost lethargic, but inside I turn upside down, look from the bottom, from above, surface, underground, deed dark corners… A work of patiently dissembling, diluting, emptying, dilute again, fill in, empty again… The first step was the commitment with my soul. I promised that I would never let her down again. Whatever happens and however challenging, I would listen to my internal voice, the best GPS. I was not – and am still not – able to succeed always, but the commitment helps me to remember, trust, and get up after the fall. Acceptance and compassion towards myself are one of the main lessons. I can hear the internal voice when I quiet the noise in the head. The voice in the head is loud and tempting. It is not an easy commitment, as our own internal resistances (fear, vanity, self-criticism, laziness, anger, need for recognition…) hit back will full power. Further, the external environment rarely support a fish swimming in the opposite direction of the school. I quickly understood that I should not expect sympathy, recognition or approval from others. At most, they would stay at the shore and wave when my boat leaves. I do it for myself, not for others. The quality of the seed we plant today determines the quality of the harvest of tomorrow. Once we realize that being here and now is a rare gift and that no day should be wasted, we start the journey. How? I think that a good and simple way is to observe what we put in your body and mind and what we give back to the world. The awareness of the quality and source of the food I eat, the words I read, hear and speak, the images I see and share, the thoughts that come and go, actions I take may be a good starting point. No judgement. No blame. No guilt. Just awareness. If I can change something, I will give my best. If not, I accept things as they are and keep watching with awareness. An opportunity to change may arise later as I outgrow my own challenges. I’m never alone as I my internal GPS is connected to the great consciousness.
“A tree as great as a man’s embrace springs from a small shoot; A terrace nine stories high begins with a pile of earth; A journey of a thousand miles starts under one’s feet.” Tao Te Ching
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